Wednesday, November 5, 2008

An Extended Private Letter To America.

Dear America,

I finally respect your judgement. You have long since been the blacked-out girl at the party with her dress over her head. But now, you, America, have sobered up and are prepared to move out of your parent's basement. It's scary, I know. You have to get a job at Jamba Juice for a while to get on your feet and pay your own rent, but you can do it.

I know it was so easy to just stay with your Ex because it's 'comfortable', but he doesn't know how to take care of you... he doesn't understand your needs, the needs of a Woman. Women need Health care, removal of troupes, and a tender caress. I'm glad you have taken this step, I like your new man and I hope we can be friends again.

The last 8 years have been rough on our relationship, I had removed you from my Myspace 'top friends' and replaced you with Canada. I'm sorry, girl, but your behaviour warranted it... but I *will* put you back up there with Oasis and that guy from Dexter again. (Canada, I will always keep the half a friendship heart charm you gave me years ago..)

... and maybe it's the champagne talking, but, you looking pretty fine, America.

great job!

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