I thought I might share my love of the brain of Russell Brand with you, who I presume are ignorant twats.... as you do not already understand the genius that he is.
The best way to get acquainted with his brilliant discourse is to simply type in 'Russell Brand' in the Youtube search engine-majig. I recommend any interviews involving him sitting on a couch and spewing genius into your ear canals. His delivery, his choice of eloquent verbiage and his massive hair... how can one go wrong?
To dampen your chops for what will soon be extreme salivation I have hand picked a few of my favourite bits from Russell Brand's "My Booky Wook"... So do enjoy a snippet from a proverbial guttural garden hose of facetious hilarity.
My Booky Wook: Chapter 4; Fledgling Hospice
My relationship with Topsy quickly grew very intense. Perhaps because she was a problem dog, we had more in common than I'd initially realised. I sometimes cuddled her too hard so that she would yelp. 'Here have some of me painful love," my febrile embrace would tell her. 'It is constrictive and controlling and painful, like all love should be." In later life, I have come to realise that any expression of love which ends in a yelp probably requires modification. When we first got Topsy, she would be allowed to sleep in the bed with me: I hope it is not necessary for me to stress the platonic nature of that relationship- not platonic in the purist sense, there was no philosophical discourse, but we certainly didn't f*ck, which is usually what people mean by platonic; which I bet would really piss Plato off, that for all his thinking and chatting his name has become an adjective for describing sexless trysts...
But, lo! Dear readers... there is much more undiscovered by your narrow brains! Go and expand!
Next installment from my list: Doctor Who Lust, (AKA I Will Carry David Tennent's Love Child.)